There comes a time when a wizard must put his fate totally in the hands of another. This takes great courage, and great faith in the ability of others to perform some function that is beyond you. But there are benefits to this course of action as well. Should this task reach a successful conclusion, it will show you the worthiness of your fellow beings, and lead you to trust in the providence of the universe. And, of course, should the task not be successful, there is always someone else to blame.
— THE TEACHINGS OF EBENEZUM,
VOLUME XXVII
The crowd dispersed rapidly to make way for the dragon. The giant reptile landed with a resounding thud.
“Excuse me, my dear,” the dragon said. “Not the most graceful of landings, I’m afraid. Do you have my hat?” The reptile turned to the crowd, most of which was cowering around the edges of the clearing.
“Pardon me,” the dragon enunciated. “Did I arrive at an inauspicious moment?”
“Pop! Wake up!” the Hippogriff cried. The Griffin snored, still under Headbasher’s awesome power.
The blond woman sitting on the dragon’s back reached into a satchel in front of her and extracted a large top hat. She handed it to the dragon.
“Thank you,” the giant reptile said as it placed the hat atop its head.
I had thought I knew this dragon! Now, I was sure.
“Hubert!” I cried.
“Good heavens!” The dragon blew a smoke ring of surprise. “Could it be a fan?”
“ ‘Tis Wuntvor!” I called. “You remember—the Western Kingdoms, and that business with the duke?”
Hubert nodded. “I never forget an engagement. You should see my scrapbook on that one.”
“You remember Ebenezum, too?” I pointed across the stage. “Well, at the moment, he’s inside that shoe.”
“Oh, does he do escapes, too? We had a fellow like that on our bill when we played the Palace. Used to get out of locked trunks and iron maidens, that sort of thing. Never a shoe, though. Rather a unique touch.” Hubert nodded his head approvingly.
I wondered if I should correct his line of conjecture. Then again, perhaps it was best if we did not discuss my master’s malady in too great detail at present. The crowd seemed to be getting over their shock at the dragon’s sudden entrance, and were slowly moving closer to both Hubert and the maiden on his back.
“Hello, Wuntie.”
My heart stood still in my chest. Only one woman had ever called me Wuntie, and then only in our most intimate moments. Could it be?
It was! Alea waved from her perch atop the dragon.
It was little wonder I hadn’t recognized her. She had changed in the weeks we had been apart. No longer was she but a duke’s daughter, forced to while away her hours in a drafty keep deep within the Western Kingdoms. Her hair, once straight, was curled, and seemed a lighter shade than I remembered, probably bleached from hours of flying through sunny skies on a dragon’s back. She wore a gown of lightest blue, no doubt all the rage in Vushta. Vushta, the city of a thousand forbidden delights, what a magical place! For when Alea had left on a dragon’s back a scant two months before, she had been little more than a girl. Now though, in dress, in manner, in bearing, she seemed a woman of experience, an actress who had taken Vushta by storm, and therefore could do whatever she pleased.
Once, she had been fond of me. And she remembered, for she called me Wuntie!
“Indeed!” my master called from deep within his shoe. Apparently, after everyone had ceased to run madly about, he had gotten an opportunity to regain his breath. “So nice of you to drop by and give us an escort, Hubert!”
“Why, yes! Of course! My pleasure!” The dragon leaned close to me with a chuckle. “I can ad-lib with the best of them,” he whispered. He turned to the audience, and spoke with the full power of his dragon lungs.
“Ladies and gentlemen—and assorted beasts—in but a moment from now, you are about to witness a feat designed for the crowned heads of the Continent, yet performed for the first time anywhere on this stage before you. Yes, it’s Ebenezum and the Amazing Shoe Escape!”
No! No! This was all wrong! I pulled urgently on the dragon’s tail.
“Pop! Wake up!” The Hippogriff nudged its sleeping father with equal urgency.
“Excuse me,” Hubert intoned. “I must have a brief conversation with the magician’s assistant.”
I explained, as briefly as possible, that, rather than have Ebenezum escape from the shoe, the five of us, Hendrek, Snarks and the Brownie included, were attempting to escape from here entirely. If not, I concluded, we were in danger of being eaten.
“Ah,” the dragon nodded his head knowingly. “A rough audience, huh? Say no more.”
Hubert glanced briefly at Alea, then resumed.
“Actually, it is not mere coincidence that brings me here. We were flying through the air, between engagements, when I spied you in the midst of these monsters. I spoke briefly with Alea, and she agreed, that if we but had the time, we would like to drop in and say hello. And, with such a large crowd, there was always the possibility of staging a show. As itinerant theater people, you know, we must earn our bread wherever we can. But, a previous engagement called.”
“But I thought you had gone to Vushta!” I cried. “Didn’t they care for your act?”
“Oh, on the contrary, we were quite a hit. Especially our novelty numbers!”
“Yes!” Alea rejoined enthusiastically. “You should have seen the reaction to the ‘Maiden and the Rings of Fire’ routine!”
“That’s right!” Hubert continued. “But that was nothing compared to the big finish, when Alea would play my scales! We’ll show you our whole act if we have a chance! We were even offered extended contracts in some of Vushta’s choicest nightspots. But I did not want the crowd to become overfamiliar with our act. Always leave them wanting more, that’s this dragon’s motto!
“In short, you can only play in Vushta for so long. We are on a tour of the provinces, playing the smaller halls, and in some cases,” the dragon sighed, “the larger barns. Still, that’s show business!”
“Yes,” Alea added indignantly. “And they cancelled our last show right out from under us!”
“Something about fire laws!” Hubert snorted a puff of smoke. “What can you expect from farmers!”
“Pop! Wake up!” the Hippogriff wailed. “It’s time for leadership!” I looked up to see the crowd of monsters considerably closer to the stage.
“Would you please be quiet?” Hubert roared. “How do you expect artists to prepare?” The dragon raised his snout and sent a column of fire into the air. The crowd decided that some distance was a good idea after all.
“Fine,” Hubert puffed contentedly. “Now we must come up with an escape worthy of my talents.”
“Couldn’t we just run away?” I suggested.
“No, I’m sorry, that just doesn’t have the right —dramatic unity! I have an image, you know. My fans expect a certain special flare in all my actions. Now that I’m on the verge of becoming one of the true stars of the Vushta stage, it’s the least I can do.”
“What?” I cried, exasperated. This was all too much! “Do you want our escape accompanied by music?”
“What a wonderful idea!” Hubert blew three perfect smoke rings. “A big song and dance, with Damsel and Dragon, those two toe-tappers all Vushta is talking about, in the foreground, of course. And then we escape! What a finale!”
“Hey, this is the perfect diversion! Talk about Brownie Power!”
I glanced at the little fellow. Now what was he talking about?
“Those sandals that fell from the sky, I just had the steps wrong! I knew I should have done the tango all along!”
“Oh,” Hubert remarked. “A Brownie.”
“At last!” the Brownie cried. “A true creature of the world! A fellow who knows quality when he sees it. You’d be surprised, my good dragon, how often we wee folk are confused with Fairies!”
“ ‘Tis the confusion of the uninformed,” the dragon chortled. “You’re much too lively to be a Fairy. It’s a shame. If Brownies weren’t so short, they could have a real future on the stage.”
“Short?” The little fellow stamped his tiny feet. “Brownie stereotyping! I’ll have you know Brownies are the perfect height! The rest of you creatures are far too tall!”
The Griffin groaned.
“Pop?” the Hippogriff asked hopefully.
“Perhaps we should get under way,” I urged.
“Just what should we do?” the dragon asked in a low voice. “As I recall, when I get too close to your master, he begins to sneeze.”
“That was before Brownie magic came along—”
“Yes,” I cut the little fellow off short, “that shoe somehow protects him from sorcerous influences.”
“Excellent!” the dragon cried. “That means the wizard can stay and catch our act!” Hubert tipped his top hat towards the shoe, then turned back to me. “How’s this for a plan? At a prearranged signal, the damsel and I will cause a distraction upon the stage. The rest of you will bolt for the forest during the confusion. I’ll shoot a little flame around to liven things up a bit more, then join you presently in the forest.”
I mentioned that there was only one problem with Hubert’s plan. The wizard, trapped in a shoe, was unable to run.
“A small problem, at best,” Hubert rejoined. “As long as Ebenezum is in his protective shoe, I should be able to scoop him up and carry him at the end of our performance.”
It sounded as if it actually might work. I quickly introduced the dragon to the others in our party.
“Doom,” Hendrek remarked.
“A dragon with a top hat?” Snarks peered up at Hubert. “Tell me, why do you feel you need these affectations? Some trouble at home?”
Hubert looked at Snarks with some disdain. “You want me to rescue this?”
“You know,” Snarks added, “if you stood up straighter, you’d be much more fearsome. Nobody’s really scared of a dragon who slouches.”
“Did you see the pretty birdy?” the Griffin intoned. “I saw the pretty birdy!”
“What is this?” Hubert remarked.
“The leader of the group here,” I replied, “still somewhat undone by a bash on the head from Hendrek’s magic warclub.”
“Pop!” the Hippogriff cried. “Pull yourself together! I know I haven’t always been the perfect son—”
The Griffin blinked. “Does the birdy have any gold?”
“Wuntvor!” Ebenezum hissed from within his shoe. “I fear the beast is regaining its senses!”
The Griffin staggered to the front of the stage. “Fellow creatures!” It stopped and shook its head. “Ladies, gentlemen, and birdies!” It paused and blinked again.
“Pop! You can do it! I tell you what! No more old-age jokes! That’s a promise!”
“Old age?” The Griffin came to its senses with a roar. “Whosoever has done this to me will feel the wrath of—urk!”
“Thank you, Hendrek,” my master remarked.
“Doom,” the warrior replied.
There were shouts out in the crowd. They began to move closer to the stage again. If they had started out as a rough audience, I feared they would soon get far rougher.
The dragon cleared his throat. Small flames lapped around his teeth.
“Listen, creatures,” he said. “Let’s get something straight here. I am a dragon.”
“Sure, you can talk!” something shouted. “You’ve already got your maiden!’’
“Yeah!” came another voice. “I wonder how she’d taste with salt?”
The dragon roared, sending a shaft of fire thirty feet into the air.
It seemed to quiet the conversationalists in the crowd.
“As I was saying,” Hubert continued, “I am the dragon. You are not the dragon. Are there any questions?”
“Yeah!” something replied. “You are the dragon, but you are only one dragon. We here at AFTAOMAIBAC are many!”
“You here at what?” the dragon said. “Oh, never mind. Look here, fellows, do we really want bloodshed, sizzled flesh, the whole rotten mess? Or would we rather see a show?”
“A show?” the Hippogriff asked.
“Yes!” the dragon cried. “The music, the lights, the laughter! Not only will you see Ebenezum and the amazing shoe trick! As an introduction, you will get to see one of the premier song-and-dance duos of all time!”
“A show?” the Hippogriff repeated.
“Yes!” the dragon reiterated. “For what is a gathering of this size without entertainment? Now, if you will but give us a mere moment to prepare—”
Hubert let the words hang in the air as he turned to our party.
“The element of surprise is on our side, but we will still have to make this quick. We’ll do a couple of songs, a little patter, something to put the crowd at their ease. Then, when we get into our big finish, ‘Flames of Love,’ you folks will have to make a run for it!”
“Flames of love?” Snarks interjected.
“Yes,” the dragon nodded. “It is rather poetic, isn’t it? So, when the damsel here cries ‘Burn me dragon, with the fire of desire,’ that’s when you should make your exit.” The dragon blew a contemplative smoke ring. “It’s a shame you won’t be able to stick around and see it. Talk about great theater!”
I assured Hubert that we would be glad to witness his performance in its entirety at some other time. Behind us, though, the crowd was busy getting restless again.
“Okay!” Hubert said. “It’s time for the big build-up. Are you ready, damsel?”
“Ready, dragon!” Alea called.
“Good enough! Showtime in three minutes!”
The dragon strode out to center stage, careful not to tread on the sleeping Griffin.
Hubert breathed a sheet of flame over the heads of the audience. “And now, to begin the entertainment! A smoke ring demonstration!”
I leaned close to Alea. “What’s Hubert doing?”
“Oh, don’t mind him.” Alea put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “He’s just warming up the crowd.”
I felt a little warm myself. I had forgotten what it was like to have someone as wonderful as Alea so close by my side. And she was no longer the girl of the forest whom I had known. Now, she was a woman of Vushta!
I looked deep into her eyes. “Tell me about Vushta,” I whispered.
“Vushta?” She laughed, the sound of dew falling on a summer’s eve. “Why, it is a magical place, but treacherous as well. One must be careful, or a maiden’s honor, yea her very life, may be forfeit!”
“Yes, Alea?” I said, entranced. I wanted to hear it all!
Her blue eyes looked deep into my own. “Yes, Wuntie, Vushta is almost like a different world. It makes one think about where one has been, and sometimes—” Her hand moved down my shoulder, running gently along my arm. “Sometimes it makes one realize how much one misses what one has left behind.”
I swallowed. “Yes, Alea?”
“Yes, Wuntvor, when you are an actress on the Vushta stage, whole new worlds open up to you. Many men would like to court you; worldly men, versed in magic and every other art. But, with their worldly ways comes a cynicism, a shell they keep around themselves so they cannot truly touch others, or be touched in return.” Her nails stroked my knuckles just before her fingers intertwined with mine. “Wuntie, it makes one long for a simple, homespun boy like you.”
“Yes, Alea,” I whispered, barely able to get the words out. My throat had suddenly become very dry. It had something to do with how warm the world had become in the last few minutes. A late summer heat spell, perhaps, or the warm spring glow that came from Alea’s eyes.
She turned toward the stage for an instant, her blond curls shining in the sun. Hubert was stomping back and forth on the worn floorboards, breathing rings of fire. The crowd seemed uncertain how to respond. Isolated cheers came when Hubert breathed a fire pretzel. However, 1 thought I heard low grumbling out there as well.
I looked back at the woman who once had been mine. Simple? Homespun? Alea’s words began to sink into my overheated consciousness. How strange were the fates! When we had first known each other, back in Wizard’s Woods, she had wanted me for my worldliness. Now, she wanted me because I reminded her of home.
Alea turned back to me, her eyes full of excitement, and kissed me full on the lips.
“Do I look all right?” she asked brightly. “Everything in place? It’s almost time for my entrance!”
I was having some difficulty breathing. “Yes, Alea,” I managed at last.
She stood up. “Okay, Hubert!” she spoke in a hoarse whisper. “Let’s break a wing!”
I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. Alea’s attentions were all very nice, but somehow, all wrong. There was someone else.
“Norei!” I cried aloud.
I swallowed hard. I realized then that I must stop thinking thoughts of Alea. I was promised to another!
The audience was getting rougher. Cries of “AFTAOMAIBAC!” and “Let’s fire the dragon!” wafted my way.
Hubert paused in his demonstration. “All right, fellow creatures!” he called out. “You want change?”
A ragged cheer rose from the crowd.
“You want excitement?” the dragon cried.
The answering cheer was stronger this time.
“Then how about this? Take it, damsel!”
Alea ran up to the dragon’s side. They broke into song:
We do the dragon walk, from town to town.
We do the dragon walk, we really get around.
When we go steppin’, people get kinda shy,
‘Cause when you’re stepped on by a dragon, goodbye!
Alea proceeded to perform an elaborate tap dance between the dragon’s toes. Hubert hummed to give her musical accompaniment.
“Doom!” Hendrek said. “So now we prepare ourselves.” He nervously shifted his grip on Head-basher as he watched the audience through half-closed eyes. “This plan strikes me as difficult, at best.”
Snarks nodded his head in agreement. “I never knew I would end like this, a victim of musical comedy.”
“Come on, guys!” a small voice piped. “Don’t be so glum! You’ve got a Brownie on your side!” The Brownie did a little dance in time with Hubert’s humming. “There’s more than a dragon here to depend on. I’ve got another wish or two up my sleeve, let me tell you!”
“Wuntvor?” my master’s voice called from his shoe. “Exactly what is happening?”
I realized then that my master, in his shoe, sitting on the far side of the stage, would have been unable to hear our whispers and thus knew nothing of our plan. I ran quickly to his side. Too quickly, for I did not watch my feet.
I tripped over the Griffin.
“What? Where?” the beast mumbled, still half-asleep. “Look at the two birdies!”
I explained the situation as briefly as I could.
“Indeed,” Ebenezum replied. “You show great initiative, Wuntvor. Should you grow out of your clumsiness, you will make a great wizard.” My master again poked his hands into the outside air. “I have managed to recover quite a bit. This shoe, silly looking as it is, offers a great deal of protection. Alas, we have learned that the protection is not total, but it should be more than enough to suit our purposes.”
Ebenezum waved his hands about. There was the sound of distant thunder. “Yes,” the wizard said. “Quite fully recovered. While the dragon’s plan might have been somewhat problematic with me in my sneezing state, I can now lend a hand with a well-placed spell or two. We should be on our way to Vushta in no time.”
I ran back to the others. I felt as though I might leap with joy! With Ebenezum once again able to perform magic, we could not fail!
“Hello, birdy,” the Griffin mumbled as I passed. “Yummy, yummy birdy.”
Still, I reflected as I reached the others, the sooner we were out of here, the better I would feel.
The assembled beasts seemed to have stopped shouting. I glanced at Damsel and Dragon’s performance. If they had not quieted the crowd, at least they had them reasonably stunned. Hubert had now taken center stage, and was singing a sensitive ballad.
My flame’s gone out,
I don’t feel bold.
My legs don’t work,
And my wings don’t fold.
When I sun myself
My blood’s still cold.
I’m just a lizard in love.
Snarks sidled over to me. He jabbed a thumb at the singing dragon. “Couldn’t we escape a few minutes early?”
“No, no,” I whispered back. “Everything is set. The wizard even has a spell or two up his sleeve.”
“Doom,” Hendrek said, a hopeful note in his voice.
“Wow!” a small voice piped. “A dragon, a wizard, and a Brownie! Talk about your triple threats!”
The Griffin raised its head.
“Birdies. Birdies every where.”
I turned toward Hubert and Alea, silently hoping they would speed up their act. I did not wish to end up as a birdy.
Alea finished a song about being just a maiden in a dragon tower that seemed to remind some members of the audience why they were here in the first place. She and Hubert ignored the shouts and began their snappy patter.
“Get ready!” I whispered to the others. “It’s going to come at any time now!”
“Say, dragon?”
“Yes, damsel?”
“How do you pick up lady dragons?”
Hubert breathed a ball of flame. “I say ‘Hey, baby, want to have a hot time?’ “
Alea and Hubert began a dance number.
“I knew there was a catch to this plan!” Snarks muttered. “In order to hear the escape line, we have to listen to their act!”
I looked sharply at the demon. We had to suffer through this together. The rest of our party listened in grim silence.
“Help! I’m a damsel in distress!”
“Really? I didn’t know!”
“Oh, sure! But as soon as the show is over, I’m going back stage to change into dat dress!”
Their dance number grew faster.
“Maybe we should let the monsters eat us,” Snarks suggested. “It would be a kinder end.”
“Birdies.” The Griffin was on its feet. “Pretty, pretty birdies.” The beast staggered toward us.
“Doom!” Hendrek raised Headbasher aloft once again.
“Oh, no, you don’t!” The Hippogriff reared up before us. “You’ve bopped my pop once too often! Make one more move, you get a hoof in the head!”
“Birdies.” The Griffin made smacking sounds with its beak. “Yummy, yummy, pretty birdies.”
“But what if he eats one of us?” I pointed out.
The Hippogriff shook its head. “That’s the least you should let him do after the way you’ve treated him. What kind of guests are you, anyway?”
I felt the floorboard shake ever so slightly by my feet. The Brownie was doing a dance. Hendrek grumbled deep in his throat, both hands on Headbasher. And both my master’s arms were free of the shoe, ready to conjure.
“Are we hot, damsel?”
“We’re hot, dragon, and we’re getting hotter!”
The audience did not seem to agree. I heard a dozen angry shouts. The crowd began to surge forward.
“But we can get hotter, can’t we, damsel?”
“Yes, we can make it hot! So hot!”
This must be the build-up to their last big number. The signal to escape was coming at last!
“Yummy birdy.” I felt something grab my shirt. I looked down, and saw that I was held by a Griffin claw.
“Tell me, damsel!” Hubert screamed. “How hot do you want it?”
“Burn me, dragon, with the fire—” Alea’s voice died away as she watched a huge bird descend from the sky.
“Hey! Cool it! Stop everything!” the great bird cried. It landed on the edge of the stage, in front of the dragon.
The crowd paused in its surge. Hubert stopped his patter. Everyone froze where they stood, eyes on the Rok.
“Man, you know I don’t shake easy.” The Rok pointed its beak to the sky. “But just feast your eyes on that!”
My mouth opened when I looked up. Now we were in real trouble!